A wonderful book

Recently finished reading "Dancing with Rose: finding life in the land of alzheimer's" by Lauren Kessler. She is a professional journalist who lost her own mother to Alzheimer's and even years later is mortified at how she failed to relate to her mother in the last years of her life. And so she goes to work as a minimum wage aide in an Alzheimer's care facility, not to write a sensational tell all book but to relate the day to day struggles of the aides and the residents and perhaps most of all to atone for what she sees as her own failure with her mom. I think she succeeded brilliantly on all three counts. She doesn't pull any punches about the working conditions or the lack of decent pay or benefits. Neither does she mince words about how stressful the job can be. On the other hand, she is entirely open about how attached she becomes to some of the residents and how heartbroken she is when a couple of them die.

I worked in a nursing home for 3 years before moving on to my present job in a hospital with much better pay, security, and benefits. My favorite residents back then were those who related to me on an intellectual level or those I related to on some deep emotional level. For example, there was a lady none of the other aides liked to take care of. She was combative and had a tendency to grab and pinch. Everyone called her Grandma , and I adopted the nickname. Eventually she came to recognize my voice and calmed down enough at least to be fed and showered and put to bed. Of course, one day the inevitable came. She lay dying, and I went into her room before going off evening shift. I stroked her hair and said, "Good night Grandma. Good night." I just about jumped out of my skin when I heard a voice behind me say, "Thanks for taking care of my mom." This from a man I'd never seen come to visit her. At that point, I felt more like a grandson to her than he'd been a son, and managing to mumble a you're welcome I rushed out of the room. When I came to work the next day her room was empty. Why do I remember this so vividly, and why does it make me feel sad to this day?

"Dancing with Rose" explains it more eloquently than I ever could. Buy it, borrow it from the library, or swap for it. I simply cannot recommend it highly enough.

Good night.

Welcome to The Vincent van Gogh Gallery

Just saw a program about Vincent van Gogh on PBS. He is my favorite painter ever. When I look at his landscapes they draw me in. I somehow feel as if I'm living there. In the case of his self portraits, as crazy as it sounds, I feel as if I'm living inside his head. The following link provides lots of info on his life, forums, wallpaper downloads, and more. If you're not familiar with Van Gogh I strongly encourage you to click. You'll discover a painter who engages your emotions in a way few other painters do. If you are familiar with him I also encourage you to click. You'll rediscover, as I did, why you love Van Gogh's art. For now I'll say good night.
Welcome to The Vincent van Gogh Gallery

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day. My dad died when I was 19, still deep in my rebellious stage. As a result, our relationship was somewhat strained. The man who called me JT when I was young will always be somewhat of an enigma to me because of his untimely passing. I do like to think that he would be pleased that I straightened my life out after he died and achieved much, if not all, that he wished for me. I also like to think that if he had lived to a ripe old age (he'd be 82 this year) we would have developed a mutual respect and the father son relationship that never came to be because I was a dumb ass rebel who thought he knew everything. I miss my dad and have been thinking of him today.

If your dad is still living, I hope you will give him what he wants most: unconditional love. Happy Father's Day! Good night.

Seabiscuit revisited

Just finished rereading "Seabiscuit" by Laura Hillenbrand. While the movie captures the heart of Seabiscuit's story, it doesn't tell it all. For that, you need to read her painstakingly researched and wonderfully written book. As she said in the interview reprinted at the end of the book, her aim was to write a nonfiction book that read like a novel. At that she succeeded brilliantly. I won't ruin it by providing details, but I can't recommend the book highly enough. Good night.

Battle of the Bulge Veterans, Home

In keeping with my posts about VBOB and Memorial Day, this is my personal web site about the veterans of the Battle of the Bulge. It may seem like shameless self promotion, but I beg to differ.

I started the site after the first VBOB meeting I went to with my buddy Doug. While I don't update the site as often as I should, it's been a pleasure to maintain ever since. I encourage you to explore all the links and make whatever comments you desire.
Battle of the Bulge Veterans, Home

Good night.

BBC NEWS | Programmes | Happiness Formula

This is a very interesting site about the science of happiness. Am I happy? According to the quiz I am, and I have to agree. But there's lots of other fascinating stuff here, including articles, videos, and more. Enjoy it at your pleasure (pun intended). More later.
BBC NEWS | Programmes | Happiness Formula

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day. To quote my friend Wayne who was a staff sergeant, i.e. a squad leader, "All I did was survive when others didn't. The ones left with the most combat experience got to be put in the leadership positions even if we didn't really like that responsibility. It really hurt when your orders got someone hurt or killed."

The above quote is from an email Wayne sent to me and makes me stop and think. He didn't want the rank. It was thrust upon him because one or more of his buddies had died. Think about your own job. Do you want a promotion or a raise? Sure, we all do. But would you want that to come about because someone had died? I don't think so. On this Memorial Day I hope you've been remembering those who served and those who are serving today.

Good night.

VBOB

So what is VBOB you have every right to ask? It stands for Veterans of the Battle of the Bulge. The Battle of the Bulge was fought in World War Two and is the largest land battle ever fought by U.S. forces. I promise to elaborate but first a little background.

My dad fought in the WWII Pacific Navy aboard the U.S.S. San Francisco but refused to ever say much about his experiences. There was a Japanese rifle hanging on the wall in our basement. When I was about 8 or 10 years old I asked him about it. In the gruff tone that can only say that no more discussion will be allowed he said, "That's just a rifle I brought home from the war." Years later, when I was cleaning out the garage, I found Army ammo boxes and a collapsible entrenching tool. I thought to myself, "Why on earth would a WWII navy man not only have army equipment but hide it?" By that time I knew I would get no answer even if I asked. He died over 30 years ago, and it wasn't until after my mom passed over 10 years ago that I was able to obtain his service record. Now at least I know he was a fire controlman helping to project the trajectory of the shells fired from the big guns of the U.S.S. San Francisco. I also know what battles he fought in, but that's all. An internet search for any shipmates who knew him has proved fruitless. I am passionate about history and insatiably curious. I want details, but I've resigned myself to the idea that I will probably never know. So be it. My dad was a private and self contained man. So am I, but I hope not to the extreme that he was.

On the other hand, there's my friend Doug. His dad fought with the U.S. Army in Europe and in the Battle of the Bulge. When he came home, he couldn't seem to stop talking about his experiences. I think he probably told his young son far more than a kid should hear about the horrors of war. Then several years ago Doug invited me to a Veterans of the Battle of the Bulge meeting. He was an associate member because his dad fought in the battle. For me it was a revelation. Here was a group talking about their battle experiences in the conversational tones used among friends. No secrecy and no drama. I think going to these meetings has helped both Doug and I gain some perspective on our dads' experiences in obviously different ways. I am proud to know these vets and to count more than a few as friends.

So ... enough background. At today's meeting my friend Wayne gave the customary talk. He was wounded three times: once in the shoulder, once in the chest, and once in the back. He received three Purple Hearts and the Combat Infantry Badge, of which he is the proudest. Tellingly, those weren't the most memorable. That came when a bullet entered the left front of his helmet just above the webbing, blew it off his head, and exited out the back. His buddies thought he was crazy, but he considered that helmet lucky and wore it through the rest of the war. He has it to this day and brought it to the meeting today. He told this story not for applause. It was just his experience, and he knew that a lot of these guys had experienced similarly horrific things.

If any of you have a similar or related story I would very much like to read it. For now I will say good night.

A difficult day

Today is Mother's Day. My mother, who passed away in 1993, loved holidays; but she never cared that much for this one. She appreciated the gifts and cards, but her attitude was that she was just doing her job. Ironically, it wasn't until she was prematurely widowed in 1975 that my brothers and I began to encourage her to celebrate this holiday in earnest. We took her out to eat and showered her with gifts and love. I miss those times, and I miss her still.

Her two favorite holidays were Thanksgiving, which I usually spend with my work family and Christmas which I spend with my church family. So Mother's Day occupies both a special and painful space in my memory. If your mother is living I hope you did something special for her today. If she isn't I hope you have engraved a good memory of her into your brain. Although it's only early evening here, I will say good night.

evil vs good

Everyone who lived during that time and was paying attention knows that Idi Amin was a vile piece of human excrement. The things he did not only to political rivals but to those he had a personal vendetta with for having "betrayed" him were beyond evil. Forrest Whitaker's performance in "The Last King of Scotland" is masterful and deserving of the Oscar he won. Just under the jovial surface he presented to the people, Whitaker powerfully portrayed the volcanic personality lurking underneath. I made the mistake of watching this DVD alone. I'm not afraid to say it gave me nightmares for a couple of nights afterward. Amin's crimes rank right up there with Hitler's and Stalin's and any number of dictators. That's the evil side.

On the good side is the DVD "Seabiscuit". I watched it for about the fifth time as a sort of antidote to "The Last King of Scotland". It's about three people and a horse who came together in the worst of times, the great depression of the 1930's. The owner emigrated to California with only a few bucks and through hard work became rich. The trainer was a loner who preferred the company of horses to that of people. The jockey was orphaned during the great depression and was a failed prize fighter. The horse, nobody respected until he began to win and win and win again.

That's all for now. Good night.

P.S. For all things Seabiscuit I recommend www.seabiscuitonline.com

A blog from Iraq from Michael Yon

Michael Yon, a former special forces soldier, has been embedded with U.S. and British forces in Iraq for a couple of years. Forget Faux News or any of the other mainstream media outlets. While they give important information about what's happening there, we all know they deal in sound bites and sensationalism and politics. For a truly fair and balanced view I can't recommend Michael's blog highly enough. While most report from inside the heavily fortified Green Zone, Michael is out there with the troops not just for a few hours or a day, but for days or a week or more. For the most part he is given full access and reports the good, the bad, and the ugly. I urge you to go to his site and read and read and read.

I hate this war and distrust the President who lead us into it, but Michael's blog explains better than I ever could why I will support the troops who are fighting there and in Afghanistan until we are finally able to bring them home and ever after. Visit his blog at www.michaelyon-online.com


Good Night

Virginia Tech tragedy

I am a news junkie, and I've spent most of my free time lately reading and watching reports about this horrible massacre at Virginia Tech. I grieve for the victims and their families, for all the students there, for us as a nation, and yes: for the parents of this obviously disturbed mass murderer. No need to provide links here, it's all over the news both online and off. However, to read about it from the Korean perspective I recommend Googling South Korea news. From everything I've read, they are fervent in their grief for the victims and their families and the university and us and in their hope that this tragedy won't result in any racial backlash against Asians. I share that hope.

Finally though, I went into information overload today. I just couldn't read any more. It became overwhelming and more than a little depressing. As tiny Tim would say, although not in the context of his happy ending, "God bless us every one." That is my prayer too as this tragedy continues to unfold. And I'm sure I'll start taking in all the coverage again tomorrow. Good night.

Drought or deluge

My mind has been wandering lately, probably because of the nature of my work. It goes up or down depending on the number of patients we have, i.e. census. This past week I was put on call twice because of a low patient census. Then on Thursday it shot up to 23 with 3 patients going home. Later we got 3 admissions so we were back up to 23. Today we were scheduled for 7 admissions so I fully expect our census to be close to 30 when I go to work tomorrow. The common phrase at work for this phenomenon is feast or famine. I prefer drought or deluge because we're either thirsting for patients so that everyone can get their hours in or we're so flooded with patients that we don't have enough staff to take care of them all. Somewhere in there is a happy medium, but we seldom reach that. Despite all this, I enjoy my work. I get to meet a wide variety of people, and most of them are discharged home within 1-3 days. Then a new crop comes in. My work is hardly ever boring.

All right, on to the wandering. Just recently finished reading Ship of Ghosts by James Hornfischer. It's a history of the USS Houston which was the first ship to see action in WWII after Pearl Harbor. Her crew fought bravely and then endured a horrific yet heroic time as Japanese prisoners. His previous book was "The Last Stand of the Tin Can Sailors" which chronicled the experiences of the sailors, marines, and pilots of the Battle of the Leyte Gulf. Both are riveting and well worth reading. The author's site is at www.jameshornfiscer.com

Just realized how late it is and I have to get up at 5:00 in the morning. More wandering soon but now I need to get some sleep. Later

Zach Johnson wins the Masters!

Zach Johnson has just won the Masters golf tournament! He is a fellow Iowan. Not only that, he is from my home city of Cedar Rapids. I would not describe myself as being as excited as I was when the University of Iowa won the 2002 Big Ten football championship, but I am very very happy for him and his family. My hometown newspaper has had a columnist covering Zach at the Masters. You can read Mike Hlas's columns at www.gazetteonline.com

I see great things ahead for Zach. Okay, I'm outta here. Later.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn has been my favorite book since childhood. I've always thought of Huck, the rebellious white kid, and Jim, the runaway slave as almost being joined at the hip. As indeed they virtually were for most of that fateful raft trip down the Mississippi River. I've somehow always identified with Huck as I'm sure millions of other kids from the 19th century into the 21st have. Not because of his abusive father but because of his adventurous spirit and free thinking ways. I've also identified with Jim, not because I can ever truly understand what he went through as a slave, but because of his intense desire to be free ... to just be free. I try to imagine being a possession like a horse or a cow, basically livestock, and I just can't quite fathom it. Huck Finn was one of the books that shaped my life along with my parents who encouraged me to read and bought me all the books I wanted.

This blog won't be only about books, although I'll certainly write about what I've been reading which is mostly history and biography these days with a smattering of mysteries thrown in. To quote Cicero, "A room without books is like a body without a soul." That sums it up nicely for me.

My interests are eclectic though. I obviously love the web. Would I be here otherwise? 8-) I also work in health care and am, in the words of a web brother, "geeky" about my job meaning that I care deeply about it which I do. So expect to see posts here about whatever catches my interest.

Finally, (I can hear you saying "Thank God!) 8-) I am brand new to blogging and haven't had time to figure out how to post links to other blogs and web sites I enjoy. I'm learning as I go along, so bear with me okay? Until next time, take care.